Surgery update

It has been a week since my surgery and I am doing well. I have already lost 10 pounds, which is not suprizing since I am on a liquid diet. I spend most of my energy in the day trying to take in enough protein for my body to heal and function. This is not a high protein diet, but since I am able to take in so little I have to concentrate the calories I am able to get where they are most important.

 I realize that my decision on having gastric bypass seemed really sudden to alot of people and I am feeling bad it is not something that I discussed with only a few people.I tend to be a private person and was not sure how I felt about everyone knowing what i was going through. I began the journey of gastric bypass six months ago. When going to a normal physicians check up I was asked if gastric bypass surgery was something that i have ever considered, and my doctor suggested that Steve and I look into it. I had borderline high blood pressure, my cholesterol was borderline high. My glucose levels were much higher than they should have been. From a physical standpoint I was very unhealthy and needed something very different to happen or I was at risk for heart disease, diabetes, and a multitude of cancers. The honest truth was that when looking at the risk factors between what could happen while having this surgery and the risk factors of me walking down the street in my present health conditions, surgery had less risk.

If I were to say that the only side of this surgery that I considered was health I would be lying. I am of course excited for the shallow side of being slimmer as well. I was a large kid who grew up in a large family. I have never felt thin in my life or even average. Some of my thinner friends will never be able to understand the feeling of always feeling like you stand out like a sore thumb becuase of your size. When my daughter Ammy got sick three years ago she was paralyzed for some time, and then was only able to do things when she was an arms length away from an adult. I feel such guilt sometimes that she was not able to do things because mom was not able to keep up, or I felt like everyone was laughing at the fat girl that I did not want to do them. For example game time at Awana was just a no. I did not want the other adults to see how winded I got just going around the circle. Time spent with friends was board games because mom could not muster up the energy to run around. I promised myself that I was going to change that and not be that kind of person if God forbid she ever had to go through that again. I have tried for years to try and loose the weight and was not able to be successful.

In order to have this surgery I had to through several meetings with Dieticians, and physical therapist , and a psychologist to try and start my journey in weight loss. Gastric bypass is not a for sure weight loss gimic. I am positive that no matter what these next 6 months I will loose significant amounts of weight. The truth is though that if I do not change my habbits and my mindframe i can gain in it all right back plus some. As doctors can point out where there is obisity there is usually emotional trauma. Most of us can look back at our most significant amount of weight gain and can tie it to an emotional time in our life. Mine was when my Dad passed away and I was pregnant with my amazing little girl. I rememer this as a time of deep depression and lonelinesss. As my pounds strip away I will have to make a big effort to deal with the emotions I have been hiding through my weight.

In a month I will meet again with my physician, I will have labs done to make sure my blood work looks good, I will also meet with my dieticians and physical therapist to make sure I am continuing to do what i need to do to stay healthy. They will help me set realistic goals for myself and to do what I need to do to meet those goals. I will continue to try and update you on my post surgery fun as the months go by.